Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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