my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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