dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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