He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
His nipple licking is glorious
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