Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
