Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
