We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I didn't shave. On purpose
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
