love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
