I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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