Your dad touched me again.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
