Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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