I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
