dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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