so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
