I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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