Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
