Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
