Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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