There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i believe in u and ur pee
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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