You work out of a Hotel?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
