Plan B is the new Plan A
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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