oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
