You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
