I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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