I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We have started to decorate penises.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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