There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
