3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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