Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
