He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
