My brain says no but my pants say off.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
