The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
