I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just forgot I was standing up.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
