My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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