so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
