I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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