I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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