i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
