Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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