Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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