Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
