problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
