very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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