I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
