i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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