What did we do last night that was yellow?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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