I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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