but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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