im gay
i know
yea but for you.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
