For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the day after is always just damage control
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
