I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
