I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
