Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
