16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
