she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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