That's intense
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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