I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
