May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
