You're my little dorito
You work out of a Hotel?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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