I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
