you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
