the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
