This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize