i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
