You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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