Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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