Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
