All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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