Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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