if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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