You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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