They should really pass out barf bags in church
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
