Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Buhtt sex?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
